notyour-sidekick: grrrlfever: my life became 600% better when i started acting like a self obsessed piece of shit like 10/10 would recommend even if u don’t actually genuinely love yourself its fuckin fun to act like you think you’re the human embodiment of perfection go on try it life’s too short to not fall in love with yourself Tony Stark is that you
What girls say: I'm fine
What girls mean: I'm too embarrassed to ask for water from your mom because this is the first time I've been over and she's asked me like 500 times if I wanted any and I've been saying no but I'm dying of thirst
Period: You want cookies
Period: You want to fuck
Period: You want to fuck while eating cookies.
Period: Let's be sad about trivial things, shall we?
Period: Kill them.
Period: Kill them too.
Period: Kill them and eat their cookies.
Period: Shhhh it's okay you'll feel better soon.
Period: HAHAHAHAHA NO YOU WON'T FUCK YOU.
thehobodad: For as much as they tell you about Stop Drop and Roll as a kid, I really expected to be on fire more times in my life.
kristenmastora7: gallium-knight: Here’s a test: I’m holding a baby in one hand and a petri dish holding a fetus in the other. I’m going to drop one. You chose which. If you really truly believe a fetus is the same thing as a baby, it should be impossible for you to decide. You should have to flip a coin, that’s how impossible the decision should be. Shot in the dark, you saved the baby. ...
christoph-waltzed: I remember in year 2 there was a girl who had literally never had a haircut so her hair was ridiculously long [imagine Rapunzel basically] and she always complained about it but her mum wouldn’t let her get it cut So one day at recess she put an entire pack of chewed gum in her hair at the exact length she wanted it cut to. She came in the next day with her hair cut how she...
Reblog > Go to your tumblr > Click in the house >...
endlesslysherlocked: I JUST SPENT 2 HOURS OF MY LIFE TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT. OMG. MOST DIFFICULT THING I’VE EVER DONE. I CAN’T FUCKING DO IT FUCK let me reblog this again AND YES! I FINISHED IT! :D I CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS SHIT FUCK I’M NEARLY FINISHED BITCHES this is fucking addictive aksldjaklsdj I CAN’T I did it! omfg! 25 minutes!
b0oobs: letstalkaboutdisney: b0oobs: letstalkaboutdisney: when he was a young warthog WHEN I WAS A YOUNG WARTHOOOOOOOOOOOOG very nice thanks
The Difference Between Matt Smith and David...
Matt Smith: My name is Matt Smith and I play the Doctor.
David Tennant: I'm David Tennant and I am the Doctor.
the-girl-inside-a-dalek: tin-pan-ali: New idea for a restaurant. Who-ters. All the waiters are dressed as various incarnations of the Doctor, and are in character. All the food is from Doctor Who, or Doctor Who themed, and episodes are playing on all the TVs. All the booths and bar stools and everything can be Who-themed, and there can be Who paraphernalia all over the walls and who wants to...
sherlocks-one-friend: icantdotheonesteptwostep: shouldertappingghosts: haiirflip: today a guy confirmed that at boy sleepovers they do in fact talk about girls and who they like a good majority of the time i just thought this would be useful information Why does this have so many notes? What did you think we do at sleepovers? Meth? Animal sacrifice? Well thats what girls do
alexgaskarthswhiskeyprincess: Being awake while your roommate is asleep sucks. :(
my maths substitute is a master aSASSin
Richard (le substitute): to the ones that currently are not taking notes, what are you guys thinking? that you have a brain?
Richard: *SLAMS MATHS BOOK IN DESK*
Richard: FIVE CAPITALS ON W, GO
Richard: there are three blue balls, two red balls and four green balls
Richard: how likely is it that kat grabs a blue ball, after already taking a red one?
Boys: *breaks out in laughter*
Richard: I did not ask that for comments like 'BUT MY BALLS ARE ALIKE'
Richard: because I know they're not
Popular girl: *talking about some random shit that's totally unrelated to the subject*
Richard: U TALKIN' 'BOUT CHEESE?
Popular girl: huh?
Richard: ITALIAN? ZE CHEEEEEESE? THAT WAT U TALKIN' 'BOUT?!
Popular girl: wat
Richard: THAT'S what I mean. you make as much sense to me as I do to you.
Richard (about remembering how positive numbers go up to the right in graphs): [...] this is not a political view the school is pressing upon you. if it's something dirty and sexual that makes you remember it, then that's fine. as long as you remember what you're supposed to remember, it's all fine. your imagination is not my business.
Richard: "the pencil case stayed at home". just think about what you're saying. it's like you're blaming the pencil case. like it deliberately ran away and hid, or told you that it felt a little ill so it had to stay home. you FORGOT it, asshat.
pardon-my-disney: setting realistic goals for my future So, do you think this is what Walt Disney said when he was talking to the architects for the parks?
funfreacksnc: babyferaligator: trying to find a needle in a haystack isnt hard at all like wtf all u gotta do is burn the fuckin hay u are the future
missgeekrocker: halfdeadands0alive: froggyflan: I will never understand people who think Tinkerbell is cute and girly and innocent like Have you ever seen Peter Pan She tries to MURDER WENDY MURDER also she’s a jealous monster why is all her merchandise flowery and completely opposite to her personality and in the original book she “swears like a sailor” Which is why she’s my fav